she said
"my mouth holds my ineloquent heart translated into words
and if one of us doesn't say 'stop' someone's going to fall..."

what comes at night in sleep (dreams and their meanings)

unsure heavy breaths drink air tasting of green and dirt. i kiss the sky and squint my eyes. no stars. no point of reference. no 'you are here'. feet have a mind of their own and keep moving. forward i think. along the muddy path that feels like soft cement between my toes. through walls of trees who see all, but don't speak. at least not to me. not tonight.

solitude breaks and i hear them. in the dark behind. as though following the sound of my heart beating fear out into the night through my ribs. my bones. shamanic drum. feet move faster to a run. then stop. lungs inhale deep and hold it there. they're here. wild. strong. dangerous. protective. all teeth and musk. savage and beautiful. standing stone-like i pray that they pass. seemingly indifferent to my presence they do.

the forest receives my relief exhaled. but they stop. in their tracks. on their way. my heart almost. eyes lit by the moon previously unseen by mine shine when heads turn. gazes meet. electricity softens. words, their edges and limitations disolve. feels like home. beckoning in a language silent. (un)familiar. waiting. so much i understand. about dark and light. about balance and when to jump. i will not take root. i pull. and with them i run.

under dust and dirt, all this

i guess i would be a strange place to bury any kind of treasure. still, a few have done it. planted their gold deep in this house of music where evolution and regression are witnessed on a daily basis. places among the tiny ruins caused by damage done before, but where growth occurs ripping through the tangle of crossed wires and the pre-made blueprints they had thought i would measure up to with passionate indifference. you see my shadows but even they change depending on the way the light shines. perhaps the way emerges when we realise that we're all haunted. haunted, but not doomed. how can we be doomed when we each hold the key to doors already unclosed? so, like a book you open me. you open me because i let you. because you come in my sleep when i sing in prayers laced with the scent of the night's own hunger. your skin i will paint with fingers. decorate with X. and show you how it happens so slow, the blossoming.. and yet it happens...

for now may not be always

fingers fumble fail to untie these stones tethered to ankles as my back breaks to see behind the black of your eyes. slightly edges soften. caught in the complexity of caution whilst holding your self wide open surrounded by walls. each a pulse with a body drawn to that which throbs on the right frequency. the transformative energy of nature, both human and not. you know. that place where everything hard dissolves and to slip between strings becomes possible. where i cant distinguish between drum and heart. music and me. it's like that. what's in a word? well, my heart mostly.

the difference between

feel the weight as everything
so far undisclosed
spills in crystalised confessions.

all boldness and fear.

carnivorous flower.

bones loosen and
everything on the periphery
becomes the point.

brace yourself.

i come
in various shades of myself.

the structure of elements alters.
as though like tiny globes.
interior landscapes change.

i could swallow you whole.

like the blessed and cursed
water between worlds
drowning the space
behind cracked ribs.